His Mountains Majesty

"You've come a long way baby," John told me as we boarded the plane in Salt Lake. Yes, honey I have.

Our first ski trip to Sun Valley, Idaho, in 1996 (which was my first skiing trip ever) ended with my being curried down the mountain in a basket, faking a knee injury.

For John's sake, because he enjoys skiing and wants our children to be able to ski (or at least avoid being taken down in a basket!) I've persevered in learning to ski.

No. I do not do blacks. I know my limits. I have no time for injuries. I want only to be able to ski with my husband and children and not embarrass myself, or them.

"Avoid the crash," I thought as John's confidence in me grew and he contemplated my tackling a double blue. "NO way. Not trying a double blue. I'll take the other way down." Yes, I'm a sissy and I'm soooo not scared to admit it. But I didn't come down in a basket.

And, as we rode the ski lift up the mountain, with our two girls in-between us, I thought how much time had passed since our first ski trip to Sun Valley in 1996, the year before we were married. I thought how much our life has changed since that trip--I saw the movie reel of our lives fly-by--3 children, 12 1/2 years of marriage, a mortgage, joys, disappointments and life-decisions we've made together. As I looked over at my husband, and our two children sitting between us, I was struck by the fact that while milestones have come and gone, who we are as a couple is largely unchanged.

We have grown. We have evolved. And out of the blue while sitting on the ski lift I hear the song 'America' in my mind and I'm getting teary. Thank God for the sunglasses....and the tears are puddling up in my sunglasses...and I continue to hear the song and I'm thinking it's "His mountains majesty" but in fact the song is 'purple mountains majesty' no mind....I'm living a Blessed life, I think to myself. And as I follow my husband and children off the lift....

I'm very happy to be skiing down the mountain on my own, rather than riding down in a sled, faking a knee injury.

Walking in Her Shoes

Can you wear your daughter's shoes?
I mean, is she old enough that you can conceivably slip on her shoes?
A few weeks ago I was racing out the door and unable to locate my own tennis shoes, I slipped on my daughter's shoes. At the precise moment I put on her shoes I was so happy to FIND a pair I didn't consider that she was old enough to have shoes big enough to fit her Mama. Since the day I borrowed my daughter's shoes I've thought a lot about the new season of motherhood I find myself in. I've gone from lamenting her march toward adolescence to confronting and embracing my new motherhood role. As much as I would like to resist and ignore the season of adolescence upon us I would be doing her (and me, and my husband) a huge disservice if I didn't confront and embrace the natural changes going on with our daughter. Once you slip on your daughter's shoes there is no denying her growth and maturity. She is on the precipice of puberty. Excuse me while I grab a tissue.

During carpool I look over at my daughter who now sits in the front seat and I see a healthy, active (usually happy) tween whose legs are as long as mine, with shoulders just as broad. Our time together these days is different....I try and talk less and listen more. I open my arms to her hoping she'll rush in and as often as she collapses in my arms, she is batting and pushing me away. She is beginning to change physically and mentally. I've known adolescence was on the horizon but until life flings you over the threshold, whether you want to be there or not, a parent can't predict how they will react. As I envision us being thrown over the next threshold of life my daughter is in front of me....her long golden-brown hair is blowing in the wind and her arms are outstretched--open wide, ready to accept the joys and challenges coming her way. In my mind, I see myself behind her and I look like a scared crazed cat. The hair all over my body is bristled. I am disshevelled and reaching desperately for her. I want her to look back at me but she only looks forward, and who can blame her...I'm a scary sight.

I've thought a lot about my visual.....okay, I've been dwelling on my visual in fact. How can I be the person I want to be for her. How can I respond better when she has an emotional outburst. How can I react better to the mantra of "I want" "I want" "I want?" John and I know the power of "No" and use it liberally. Sometimes, however, setting boundaries for your children can leave a parent feeling lonely and isolated. Setting boundaries is a personal family matter. John and I respect other families boundaries. Not all parents do.
I had the opportunity to discuss raising girls and setting boundaries with two friends (both of whom have daughters older than my oldest) during a recent road-trip to Jackson. I respect and admire both of them for varying reasons, most of all because they are resolute and unapologetic in who they are as individuals and as mothers. After our 3-hour discussion I concluded that I was not a scared crazed cat after all. I know exactly what I want for my daughter. I'm not off-base in my boundary setting. I know what I think is age-appropriate. And I'm mindful to respect other families boundaries and parenting decisions. I may not know the correct path through adolescence but I have a duty to my daughter to act like the adult, think like the adult and reason like the adult....at least that's my goal.
And the scared crazed cat? My husband and a few close friends can handle her....they love cats.

A constant battle...

As I sit here tonight surfing the internet, I am so impressed with the amount of information available at our fingertips! Our household has been going non-stop with soccer practice, soccer games, baseball practice, swimming lessons, church and just the normal day-to-day activities...so, when I finally sit down to research a simple topic, I become easily overwhelmed with the amount of information available to read. Makes me want to take a vacation day from work just to sit in front of the laptop and get reacquainted with technology!! I think that is one thing that frustrates the hell out of me...once upon a time I fancied myself with being tech-savvy, only to now realize technology is blazing a trail I cannot keep up with!! I want so badly to be customizing the blog and creating this awesome space for all the MommyDivas to congregate and have fabulous discussions around topics of kids, self, hubbies, careers, and everything in between. BUT, every time I sit down to figure out how to add "We Are Family" as a theme song to the blog, I become so damn overwhelmed with "how tos" and "do it yourself" and all the techi jargon that goes along with the it! So, frustrated I am...I have all of these fabulous creative juices flowing through my head...but, the technology train has left me sitting at the station...and, that completely sucks!! I feel stuck!!

I'm beginning to realize the frustration I am carrying around is...first, I do have a creative side to me and I would LOVE to be able to express it through this blog. I would LOVE to sit and spend hours on the blog adding all of the fun links, lists, videos, tunes, playlists, etc....but, then I get frustrated because of the lack of time I have to devote to those creative ideas. That's when I start the battle in my mind about corporate life vs. non-corporate life...if I wasn't going downtown to the tall office building, sitting in the board room, working on loans, investment management, and all that stuff...I could be tapping into the creative side and doing something else. Then, that naturally leads me to contemplate the lifestyle I love...and then my mind comes full circle..."it's not an option...I can't give up a guaranteed salary for uncertainty. Could I ever have the income stream I have now actually doing soemthing outside of the corporate world"...that uncertainty scares the absolute shit out of me, and makes me break into cold sweats!! So, I stop contemplating leaving the corporate world...although, having a job in this county would be nice...that would be one step closer...maybe?!? Fear steps in...I look away...why?? Corporate is "safe" to me...it's what I've done for 15 years...although, in today's economy, is anything really "safe"??

So, here I sit complaining and not really finding a solution...although, I am trying to create a solution...I'm trying to do both. I'm trying to maintain my career, grow up the corporate ladder...which has recently requested that I become more "involved" in the community...really?? And, with what time would they like me to do that with?? Anyway, while the corporate life is my day job...and, for the record...I do get a thrill out of "getting the deal done". I do enjoy many aspects of the corporate world...and, I do feel I am damn good at it, which in itself is a definite plus. The corporate world has been good to me, and I owe it a few more good years! BUT, being Mom and the creative side is a passion!

I guess this is a constant individual battle we all struggle with at times...are we passionate about what we are doing? Are we doing what we are passionate about? In a time of such uncertainty...I am so thankful to know there is one thing I am passionate about, and I am blessed to be able to be doing it every single day of my life...and that is being my children's mother! So...yes, I may continue to be in the corporate world for an unknown amount of time, and yes, I will probably still try to find a way to tap into my creativity, and yes, I will continue to fight this battle in my mind of corporate vs. non-corporate for who knows how long.

But, one thing I will never complain about and always be passionate about is my kiddos! And...there ain't anything sweeter than my 5 year old brining me a plate of supper then leaning over to kiss his sleeping baby sister that is laying beside me on the couch...God bless these babies...on that note, I believe it is time to "sign off"!

Until later...cheers, my friends!

MommyDivas like ball too...KY basketball that is!!

WARNING: Content is sports related...YES, we are women, YES, we are MommyDivas, and YES, we know the game!

OK MommyDivas...we are in the heart of basketball season...and rapidly approaching March Madness, and it is a must for these two sisters from the Bluegrass State to let our Wildcat spirit shine!

Bit of background: One does not know the seriousness of KY basketball until you have lived it...and when I say "lived it" I mean your earliest childhood memories are of watching UK basketball games (TV muted and listening to radio announcer) and then afterwards your father actually writing letters to the head coach. Did my father actually send a letter, I have no clue...but, to take something so serious that you would actually sit down and put that much time & effort into it...can we say intense? Definitely intense!! But, I guess it also makes for great stories 25-30 years later!!

And, for you MommyDivas who are not followers of the game...the University of KY basketball program is the only program to have over 2000 wins (UK2K reached this season). They also have 7 National Championship banners hangining in Rupp Arena in beautiful Lexington, KY...and, KY basketball fans are ready to hang another banner....sooooo...the stops came out, Coach Cal came to UK, he brought the recruits and we are enjoying the ride!

With that being said...a freshman (who, yes, I know is a "one and done"...heading to the NBA after this year) by the name of John Wall, came all up in to Lexington making a statement!! This video alone speaks volumes as to the impact this kid (and, yes, he is a kid...hell, he is only 18 years old) has had on Wildcat Country...starting with Big Blue Madness, the first practice of the year.

Enjoy my friends....I guarantee after watching this you, too, will have a little bit of love for the good ol' Kentucky Wildcats! You may even find yourself doing a little jig around the house...I know my son & I have been all night tonight!!

C-A-T-S...Cats! Cats! Cats!

The SHOE debacle....

Most of the time John & I remind me of Jack Sprat and his Wife-- our idiosyncrasies compliment one another and we end up with a clean plate....domestic bliss. Occasionally, our differences lead to domestic deabacles.

For instance....
if John were a better FINDER of articles....
and I were a better PROVIDER of storage containers for said articles, the following scenario might of ended differently.
John was taking our oldest to basketball practice and our youngest wanted to go. After a day home with me (preschool closed) I wanted our youngest to go with his Daddy.
"Honey, he wants to go with you to her practice" I said in the presence of my youngest, mercilessly unveiling hubby's intended destination.
He throws me a glare. A really good one....NOT the best one I've ever seen....but hold on sister.
Having planted the seed that sweet boy would be going with his Daddy, I turned my efforts to the embarrassment that was my kitchen sink. Before I could comment and make my own excuses for the unexcusable mess in the sink my husband, still smarting from being forced to take sweet boy to basketball, walks over to deliver his plate to the sink, and says to my daughter's friend "Like our dishes, Lindy?" We all kinda laughed....
Ok. I failed miserably at the dishes today. Further, I have not enjoyed my day at-home. I accomplished NO household tasks. And, I put the blame squarely on the shoulders of my sweet, precious, very busy son.
"You know, he won't watch tv," I say casually to my daughter and her friend as they eat their dinner. "Nope." I continued, "He's just not interested in television and I just, well, I just can't get anything done while he's home." At this precise moment he scoots into the kitchen singing, "hotdog hotdog hot diggity-dog" possibly because they are eating hot dogs. "Well" my daugther's friends says kindly, "he knows that song so maybe...."
"Oh yea, he will watch Mickey," I say as I do the dishes. "He loves Mickey" my daughter declares "he watches it all the time." "AND the Berenstain Bears and Caillou," she continues. Okay must I be made out to be a liar in my own kitchen? Whereupon, hubby walks into the kitchen and conversation...."Now, he never watches those shows for more than five minutes...." Thank God for Daddy....I suspect he's embarrassed by the pile of dirty dishes also, and he's chiming in to reinforce my excuses on why the dishes haven't been cleaned.....except they aren't excuses, it's just impossible to get anything accomplished with a 3 year-old underfoot.

As I continue to clean dishes, John is getting ready to take the girls to practice. "Son, if you're going with me, you gotta have shoes." The boy could only find ONE tennis shoe.
"Girls, where was he?" I ask quickly, getting nervous that my plan to send the boy to basketball practice was unraveling. My husband goes upstairs and stomps down the stairs--no shoe. Shakes his head. Somehow I've failed again, I think to myself? Because we can't find the f-ing shoe? I look around in the den. Our son is crying big alligator tears, "He gonna weave me Mama." "No honey he's not." I reassure my son.
If that sob leaves this him....I swear...where IS that damn shoe, I think.
As I look around my house--I see lots of piles. A laundry basket turned over--some child wildly trying to find underwear. When I go to my bathroom, I see a basket of pairless socks. Too much stuff in the house. I know this. "Then WHY do you keep buying?" I hear my husband's voice in my mind. In my mind I respond---Because they're growing, that's WHY I buy.
I set-out to find the shoe. I must. I need a couple of hours alone.
I know it is NOT where it should be...by the back door. Yes, we have baskets for the kids to put their shoes in, but they are PILED with shoes....nobody can find a damn thing in those baskets.
The boy is crying....John goes out to start the car....

I hurry upstairs...there is NO way that child is not going with his Daddy. And for my own sanity. I walk into my daughter's room. Church clothes from yesterday on the floor. I pick up her skirt and lo-and-behold THE SHOE. Some "looker" he is!
I march down the stairs. "I've got it....here it is" I yell to John and my boy. As I walk to the backdoor, and triumphantly hand over the shoe I tell my husband, "All you had to do was pick up the skirt. It was right there--underneath." Heavy silence. More silence.
Then I get it.....THE GLARE.
"What?" "WHAT did you just say to me?" He asks in a choppy, unhappy tone.
"The shoe. It was under the skirt." I say casually, looking him square in the eye, arms folded across my chest.
I'm pushing him and I know it....but well, do I have to find everything? The shoe was right there under the skirt. Heaven forbid he bend down and move an article of clothing.
"I can't believe you would say that to me." THE GLARE is in full-force. And I must say, I'm making light but it's kinda scary. My husband's glare could make a grown man run. Of course, my husband is NOT a bully, so I am not scared in the way a grown man would or should be, and I do not run.
I stand my ground and accept the GLARE.
I'm scared only that my words have caused unnecessary hurt between us.

Of course.....had he been better at LOOKING for the shoe....
And of course....if I were better at de-cluttering and providing a PLACE for the shoe...
Well, I suppose we wouldn't be ourselves but it's something for us to consider.
Most of the time our idiosyncrasies compliment one another.....
you know like Jack Sprat & his Wife!

A recommitment...

I am quite surprised I haven't seen another "Where is Sam" post...I know, I know...I have been absent from the blog for quite some time. And, once again, I extend my most sincere apologies to all...especially to my wonderful sister, because she has been so diligient about updating with fabulous stories, ideas, pictures, etc. So, shall I even go down the list of "excuses" and let everyone know where I have been...why not?? We have had some sort of illness in our house since the month of October (3 of those times being Mama herself), we have had the holiday season, the baby girl had a 1st birthday celebration, we have had company from FL, we have had more illnesses, we did escape to North Carloina (Sugar Mountain) for some playing in the snow...only to end up with more illnesses, and most recently I had a business conference in Las Vegas where my fabulous hubby joined me...and, naturally, there are all kinds of great stories and posts that should have happened around each one of these events (as my sister so patiently kept calling me with great post title suggestions). And, each time I would tell her...I know, I know...only to get caught up in the madness of the day, the family, the office...there was always some excuse!!

So, I am now (in my wonderful Baptist way) going to "recommit" myself to Mommy Diva Interchange...no more excuses...one can only hide behind excuses for so long...and that is in every aspect of life...although, I could probably write a daily post on hiding behind excuses...but I won't go there...this ain't Dr. Phil or Oprah!!

With all of that being said...I don't have any funny stories to write about right now...I haven't had an argument with my "bitchy self" over purchasing new luggage lately, and my youngest hasn't called anyone "Balentine" (which is precious)...so, I just thought I would post some pics of the "main events" over the past couple of months...that should get us caught up...

HOLIDAYS @ the COURTNEYS...kids loved the boxes most!

ANNA GRACE turns 1!!!

The Fam in Sugar Mountain, NC

VEGAS...


You, my friends, are officially caught up...I am officially "recommitted"...and the Witner Olympics have officially begun...going to sit back and watch our tremendous athletes go for the gold! GO U.S.A.!!!

Be My Balentine....

You heard it correctly. My little boyfriend said to me, "I be your 'Balentine,'" whereupon I melted into his arms and....gave in to the second piece of candy. Like other households with young children--we are currently covered in candy, glitter & glue. This year our middle-child insisted on making homemade Valentines for her classmates. I put the blame partially on Aunt Lea, who my children ADORE. She and cousin Luke delivered home-made Valentines to our children last weekend. There was no denying my middle-child the fun of making and giving her own Valentine creations. Further, my older child was very excited to participate in the fun of making cards, albeit for grandparents and not classmates. No Valentine parties for her grade this year...a school-wide decision to keep the nose to the grindstone since classes have been interrupted due to inclement weather.

Sometimes I am reluctant to go the home-made way, in an interest of time and convenience. However, our family has entered a new stage. My older children are mature enough to orchestrate homemade projects themselves(at the very least co-orchestrate). Our youngest who is 3, hasn't learned the art of being judicious with his glitter....but he will learn....and by the time he does, I'm not sure he'll be my Balentine.