Live @ Nana's...Motherhood Unplugged

Scenes from Nana's...LIVE & Unedited...(JP's commentary is priceless, listen close!)

Hotty Toddy! and C-A-T-S, Cats! Cats! Cats!

Christmas (and other) Cheer

Ahhhhh. Let's reflect for a moment on Christmas, and other 'cheer.'

Our family enjoys different traditions that we've come to look forward to each year.

Christmas Eve is spent with John's Dad (Boo) and his wife (Cici). There is a long-standing tradition of the Fareses getting together Christmas Eve, and our children expect to go to Boo & Cici's the day before Christmas! My husband grew up going to his Farese grandparents on Christmas Eve--exchanging gifts with cousins and sharing the anticipation of the most cherished day of the year. I included a photo of our girls at the "little table" Cici always provided! The afternoon of Christmas Day is spent with John's sweet mother and her family. The 'Stannard' side of the family gets together at their compound in Holly Springs [side note: YES, I'm aware my side of the family is missing from our Christmas traditions and I'm slightly bitter, but that's another post!] John's mother and her husband have a beautiful home next to her sister, John's aunt Vicki, and her husband. Vivian & Vicki are MommyDivas from way back--honey, they can do it all. Vivian decks her halls beautifully--I have a 'bit' to live up to! In spite of suffering from breast cancer (and her husband recently recovered from lung cancer) my mother-in-law graciously had us to her home Christmas Day. Thanks be to God for traditions that keep all of us motivated during exceedingly difficult times. Vivian and Smitty have been an inspiration--when the worst comes you live each day with resolve, dignity and as much strength as you can muster.

We always get together and exchange gifts with our dear friends the Tannehills. We do this a few days before Christmas and this year we went to their house....we enjoyed a delicious meal and their home was decorated beautifully. As dear friends do, we always feel at ease with the Tannehills. We have loads of fun together--laughing, talking and catching-up.

We also have a tradition of getting together with our friends the Greens and Callicutts--and the children decorate cookies for Santa. This is really one of our favorite activities during the holiday. The iced cookies are delicious--this year Kate made over 60 cookies for the kids to decorate (we are definitely getting her some help next year) and our barn proved to be an easy place for the kids to get reeeeeealy messy while icing and decorating their Christmas-shaped cookies! I'll get the recipe from her and post....MommyDiva you really MUST work this tradition into your holiday next year...or perhaps Valentine's??

Speaking of Valentine's--my Vixen friends will recall a time when we made cookies in college for our significant others--my pre-cooking days--and my cookies were U-G-L-Y....ahhhhh. They laughed at my cookies. It's true. I remember. And I know those hussies do too! Also, I remember Maria--see her blog at left "Life in the Afternoon" was particularly proud of HER cookies....and I vivdly remember Dr. Ash GLOATING about hers! Someone has photos that document my hell-ish confections. Holla Holla Vixens!!

And...eat your heart out while viewing our cookies for Santa! Maybe I'll send cookies your way for Valentines....while I'm "writing a letter to the Editor." And maybe Gregg Graham is reading THIS post!!!!!!! LOL.....For those of you who don't know Dr. Ash...she is reeeeeally good at--well, many things but I'm thinking right now of her uncanny ability to distract baseball players during their minor league game.....Honey, it was "Sweet Briar night" at the Lynchburg Red Sox game. Of course, WE were the cutest girls there!!! Honey, the cutest in all of Virginia as far as that goes! Dr. Ash, you MUST meet my friend RT--who also had a penchant for baseball players during college....

I don't mind telling you I feel very Blessed by the friendships I have made through the years--these women keep me sane! My girlfriends, my sister, my mother, my Dad's wife and my in-laws--all women I refer to as MommyDivas--help me stay grounded and navigate the rollercoaster ride of motherhood! (And, of course, my beloved Buford T.)

I wish each of you an AUTHENTIC 2010....honey, it ain't gonna be perfect! But life as a mother is rich and full and glorious....most days. There are moments...it f-ing sucks.

So....I wish you an AUTHENTIC 2010...'happy' is blase MommyDivas.

YOU deserve more!

Deer In Headlights!?

TEN DAYS.

You are NOT a deer caught in headlights.....

Hear me hussy!!

You are a MOMMYDIVA....

Finish up now, folks are depending on you!

Thanks Willie...

As I walked through our bathroom to the laundry room THIS is what I encountered!

No. Growing up in Kentucky we didn't have lizards....or armadillos.

Yes. I jumped outta my skin when I saw him perched on our counter.

Clearly he (or she) are they asexual? Let's call it a 'he'--honey you know Mama lizard back at the ranch holding down the lizard-hole while this dude is runnin' around exploring. So. He is not that big, however, his presence was unexpected and I let out a shrill. Kids run in--"Mama what is it?" "Get me the broom" I say as I march toward the kitchen to the fetch the broom. The kids can't move quickly enough, I think, gotta do it myself--"Mamie can get it," my youngest declares. That's already crossed my mind. Our housekeeper-she picks them up by the tail and casually pitches him-or her-outside. I tried. I walked toward the lizard and took a deep breath.....and even reached for the long tail. Will his tail drop off? Or is that a chameleon? In my mind, I see myself holding the thin tail and the lizard wildly wriggling toward my wrist.....Nope. Can't do it. So I go for the broom. I hold the broom trying to get the small-minded beast to jump on. He races toward the corner of the mirror. I lay the broom out again, hoping he'll race up it and then I'll run outside....

He scoots to the edge of our counter....and then, incredibly, does a 'hail Mary' jump onto the bathroom floor. "Eeeeek" our children scream and run backwards to our closet. "Get in the shower" one of them screams. I'm stunned by the lizard's jump. Damn. Surely he's dead.

He wiggles around....and I begin sweeping him. If I can get him over the threshold and into the hallwayI think, we're almost outside. I give him a firm whack and he rolls into the hallway. As I scoot pass the door and get my broom ready for the next threshold....there stands our faithful dog Willie. Relief! Willie stands firm and looks at me....he senses tension, I see it in his stance.

I give the lizard a tap, "Look Willie," and Willie knows from the tone of my voice he has a treat. Willie braces his legs and eyeballs the little reptile.....before I can speak he pounces the lizard--I see the lizard wriggling--Willie readjusts his mouth and takes the green little varment outside.

Ahhhhh. Willie. Of course. Why didn't I think of him sooner.

I'm slightly embarrassed that I didn't just pick up the lizard.....what would Ma Ingalls have done? She could do it. My Appalachian ancestors could have picked it up--hell, they might have boiled it up for dinner.

I've been thinking lately about how comfortable life is today. I think of the struggles other generations of Americans have faced. I think of the suffering in other parts of the world. As a society and Nation we don't value the Blessings of freedom, of having plenty of food and shelter. When we're too hot we turn up the air conditioning and if we're too cold we turn up the heat. Gotta give a shout-out to hubby Buford T., who builds an exceptional fire and impresses me as a person who could truly live off the land. Me? I'd be fine, as long as I can bring Willie.

Ma Ingalls had a dog, I reassure myself. That's why pioneers had dogs--for protection and help as much as companionship. I'm not advocating we get a covered wagon, move out West and live in a yert, but I do want to be more intentional about counting my Blessings. Like our faithful dog Willie.

God Bless the USA

Jar your brain hussies and rehearse the lyrics:

from the lakes of Minnesota, to the hills of Tennessee [Southerners let out a "Wha-hoooo"]
Across the plains of Texas, from sea to shining sea
From Detroit down to Houston
And New York to L.A.
Well there's pride in every American heart,
and its time we stand to say.
That I'm proud to be an American,
where at least I know I'm free
And I won't forget the men who died
who gave that right to me.

Surely you know the rest. Today, on Veteran's Day, belt it out hussies.
In carpool, at the dinner table at bedtime discuss the importance of this day with your children.
I've been thinking this morning about Roy, Earl, John B. and Bill. Our grandfathers who served in WWII and faced the world's biggest challenge--who gave the ultimate sacrifice and never, ever thought their actions were extraordinary. Their wives, our grandmothers, married, delivered babies, and cared for families all under the threat and cloud of war.
The servicemen and women of our military, and their families, confront different dangers and extremism today but face them with the same unparalleled courage and unwavering resolve as generations prior.
We thank them.
We honor all those who serve and we remember all those who died serving.
Let's talk with our children about the importance of these men and women who serve in the military, and their families who continue to live life in their absence.

Sam and I want to give a special shout out to our James stepbrothers who served in the military, and especially to John who packed a gun on the streets of Baghdad, and his wife Tisha who also served in Iraq.

We want to give another special shout to our dear friends the Tannehills, whose Daddy, Rhea, has been serving in Afghanistan for 11 months.....you can go up to our 'Soul Sisters' list and click on thetannehillfamily and check out Robyn and Rhea's website. Robyn is one of my very best friends and I am so proud of the way she held up her precious family while Rhea has been serving in Afghanistan. And of course to Jack Rhea himself--a true patriot. Thanks be to God for men and women like you Rhea!

We also want to give a shout out to the ROTC chapter at Ole Miss. Our brother, Will, serves in the Army ROTC. He and his friends give us faith that the next generation of soldiers will protect and defend this great country with the same honor and courage as those who served before them.

We can't change the world Mommy Divas.
But we can educate & inform our children on meaningful topics like Veteran's Day.

Mistletoe Madness...

Are you familiar with Mistletoe Marketplace??
The annual holiday extravaganza
put on by the Junior League of Jackson, Mississippi.

My soul sister, Robyn, and I have a tradition of attending every year. We normally bunk-up with my darling cousin-in-law, Christie Farese, but this year sick kiddies prompted a change of plans. Do you have a tradition where you 'get away' even for a night with a friend?
Mistletoe is the purrrrfect opportunity!

From the fabulously decorated booths...
to the funky & unique clothing, art and gifts available from vendors across the South...

Mistletoe Marketplace
is a fine example that Mississippi women just know how to throw a party.
These girls are NOT messin' around!!

Once you see, you'll agree Mississippi women take CUTE to a new level.
It's just true.
Give Mississippi #1 in putting-on-a-party....
They are inventive and original with decorating, design, advertising & events.

Beware, it's not simply the party atmosphere that's impressive.
The entire 4-day extravaganza is organized & planned with a corporate precision and effectiveness that would make any CEO green with envy.
The League's primary goal of raising funds for charity is accomplished within the confines of a true holiday wonderland....all executed by a group of dedicated Mommy Divas!!!

The girls at Monogram Magic have a booth that looks like my room in heaven! You can find them online at monogrammagic.com. Pop Fizz, a children's store in Jackson is a must-visit.

You never know when traditions will present themselves on this journey of life
but when they do make a committment to keep them....
Robyn & I have, and we both look forward to our annual Mistletoe trip....

Also--try the recently opened restaurant MINT, in Ridgeland's Regency Center.
Any Mommy Diva will LUV the atmosphere-it's moody & hip.
Executive Chef David Farris is a family friend.
You must have the Appalachicola oysters w/bacon & cheese. And the redfish is fab!
We stayed at the Embassy Suites in Ridgeland and it was v. nice (the Hyatt Place at Regency was booked). In addition to our annual TJMax & Marshall's run (Dr. Ash, the ultimate bargain-finder, I thought of you and Leslie) we hit Anthropologie & JCrew at Regency. Whew.

Wanna give a shout out to Buford T. who held down the fort while we were gone!!!
3 kids, carpool, homework and tests, while getting to court & managing his domestic relations clients all by his lonesome....

Buford T. you may qualify as a Mommy Diva....
nah, I like you better as a hot Daddy!!

Birthday Boy....

Happy Birthday to our nephew!!! Today--the 25th-- is his special day.

Our nephew who lives in Nashville--Sammy's little boy. (side note--we have another nephew who has a birthday coming up soon!)

We had a pre-birthday slumber party at Nana's (always fun!)
And birthday breakfast at Nana's.....with his cousins!
In fact, we got to spend the entire weekend with Aunt Sammy and her family. What a treat!
Nana & Big Woo are worn-ass out...but we all LOVED it....


I told our nephew how five years ago, when I got 'the call' from FL that he was on the way, my older daughter and I flew down to meet him. In fact, he'd heard this story before--"Aunt Muffin, YOU came down to see me." Yes we did.

My older daughter, who I took with me (she was just shy of 5 herself!), remembers only that Mama got pulled over on the way to the airport.
"Don't you remember how the beach was covered in shells?" I prod my oldest daughter, as I tell my version of our nephew's birth story. "Papa & Gigi were there, and we met them at the hospital. And stayed in the room next to them in the hotel. And he was such a big, pretty boy." I smile and tell my nephew and his cousins.
"Nahh." My oldest daughter responds matter-of-factly. "Mama, I just remember that police man pulling you over for speeding..... And also, Mama remember you hit that thing in the airport--our car hit that thing...." as she motions over-head.
"Yea." Of course I remember, I think.
I barrelled into one of those "clearance" bars. Obviously, the Birmingham airport was in dire need of renovation at the time--you never actually expect to hit one of those things....

Aside from cherishing the memory of being with my sister to welcome her first-born, and holding my precious nephew when he was just a day-old, want to know my other favorite part of Jonathan's birth story??

When I made the mad-dash to FL Buford T. graciously, and lovingly stayed with our second daughter, who was 2 yrs. 3 mos., at the time.

Upon my return from FL, 3 days and 2 nights later, Buford T. had single-handedly undone months of work and attention.
My second daughter was NO LONGER POTTY-TRAINED and she stuttered.
Yep.
It's true.

Further, Buford T. suffers from selective memory loss. He can remember the down and yardage in a 1988 football game against rival Magnolia Heights, but honey, don't expect him to remember the scenario I'm describing to you now.
In fact, it's likely that he will vehemently deny the aformentioned predicament.

MommyDivas you know the truth. That's why I love chatting with you.
In fact, you may have had a similar experience.
Mother knows best.

Running "Ninety-to-Nothin"

I first heard this particular phrase when I began practicing law.
My divorce client said, "Weez runnin' ninety-to-nothin."
What he meant to convey was that he was in a real hurry.
That he was running crazy.

The same client had a penchant for Southern slang.
To convey his deep and abiding love for another he would say, "I love her to the tenth power." Hmm. Well. We're good at math. You know, Southerners are reeeeealy good at math and some of us like to use our mathematics terminology in other situations.

So. Like my former client, I was runnin' ninety-to-nothin' last week.
(And, I love Buford T. to the tenth power!)

Between football, pumpkin-patch field trips, planning for supper club and general all-Hallow's-eve preperation, I expect to be runnin' ninety-to-nothin' for the next TWO weeks.

In fact, MommyDivas we'll be runnin' ninety-to-nothin' the REST OF THE YEAR!!!
It's true. You know it. I know it. We all know it. Let's make the best of it. Really.

I have NO choice but to put on a happy face....

If I stop to consider that all (let's be fair to Buford T) ok, not all but much of the magic to be made throughout the holiday season, including my precious daughter's 10th birthday tea party, falls squarely on my shoulders....well, when I think of creating all this 'magic' I want to run straight up I-65 to Franklin, KY, and let MY Mama handle all these events.
But I can't.....
Of course, I won't.
That doesn't mean I'm not tempted.
It doesn't mean my own Mama won't have a hand in some of the 'magic' that happens here.
After all, grandparents and family are part of the magic!

No hussies....I'm not Pollyanna.
I know the stresses and pressures motherhood places on us--especially this time of year.
But what other choice do we have? Give up? Hell f-ing no.

Happy faces girls.
We're goin' ninety-to-nothin' --fulfilling all the wonderful, joyful and sometimes painful roles that motherhood presents us.
It's our turn.

Dear Lord Baby Jesus

When I am at my wit's end.....
thinking of this "prayer" makes me LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!

Hope this helps YOU avoid a Mommy melt-down.

B-A-B-Y

Some things NEVER change! Like my baby sister acting like a BABY!
For as long as I can remember Sammy has gotten 'her way' by whining, complaining, pouting, fussing, or otherwise playing up her role as 'the baby.'

"Maaaaa-maaaa"-- she would screech.
Muffin did this. Muffin won't let me do this.....Muffin said this......
And my mother, like many mothers, always addressed the oldest child first.
"Muffin, what did you do?" "Muffin, what did you say?" "Muffin, just let her play too."
That Sammy--she always gets her way, I would fume.
They are harder on me, I used to think.

Fast forward 20--okay, 30 years. I now have 2 girls of my own. I see and understand very clearly that Mom wasn't always "taking up for Sam" like I used to think. Rather, Mom expected something different from her older child. I know this because I live this phenomenon everyday. These roles of 'the baby' and 'the boss' are even more exaggerated, I think, when 2 children are the same gender.

"Maaaaaaa-maaaaa." My younger daughter screams.
"She's being mean." "She hit me."
My typical response is directed to my older daughter, "What in the hell are you doin' to her?" "Can't I have a moment of peace in my own house?" I have even uttered the birth order mantra---"Honey, YOU are the oldest. You are supposed to be more mature. Just ignore her."
I tell my older daughter, not hiding or couching the expectation we have of her.

To which my older daughter typically responds, "You always take up for her." Hmmmmmm.
Or, my daughter responds, "You're always on her side." Hmmmmmm.
I know that feeling. I've lived that feeling.

As a parent, I don't intend to 'take up for' either child but sometimes--often--the birth order makes a difference in the expectation we have of our children. I see and understand family dynamics in a new way, as I watch them play-out in our household.

Hell, by the time my third-child gets to elementary school we'll have ZERO expectation--which, of course, is another post!

GYBGPO (get-your-big-girl-panties-on) Sammy!!! LOL.

Wednesday is church-night. No more posts at this time.......tune-in late-night!

My Perfect Wedding...so I thought!!

OK...while fumbling around on YouTube I found something that made me laugh my tail off...and, honestly, made me a little envious that I didn't think of this over 10 years ago when planning my "dream wedding"! Don't get me wrong...when Scott & I got engaged in November 1998 I had the choice...cash or wedding...and, are you kidding...cash was never an option in my mind...I had to have my "dream wedding". So, after 13 months of planning, 8 bridesmaids/groomsmen, all black attire, fresh flowers & greenery (I couldn't imagine having fake flowers at my wedding!!), the handbells, the soloist, limos, dinner, handmade Christmas ornaments as favors, live band, etc...I felt like I had planned and participated in the most perfect Christmas wedding...of course, it was my wedding...there was nothing out there any better...nothing could have made the evening any better...UNTIL I came across these 2 videos. And, my friends...I think these are absolutely fabulous...and, these videos probably provide some insight to all of you reading this as to what "Sam" of these 2 "MommyDivas" is all about...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqiw-Kqtlr0

Enjoy!!

Until later...cheers!

Cruella DeVille goes to the dentist...

The last couple of days I've been short with my husband. Hmmmm. Bitchy even?? My thoughts have gone something like this.......

Late meeting at church last night, as in 9:00 pm--ugh! Maybe too much church these days? Home to my loving family. "Did they shower," I ask hubby, with a hint of bitchiness (knowing that they ain't showered and just hoping they at least brushed their teeth). "Nah"--I cut my eyes to him--and make an' of course they didn't' face. "I mean they don't have to bathe every night," he says indignantly. Whatever, I think. Let it go. Just too tired. "What about their folders and homework--ya'll go over that?" I give him a chance at redemption. "Oh yea, yea....we studied." My darling husband lumbers back to bed.

Next morning--wild as hell, which is typical. I'm taking our 3 kids to school this am. "Mama you have to sign this if I'm gonna get pictures. School pictures is TO-day Mama," my middle child reminds me. They're dressed and ready, we picked an outfit, even managed to straigtening-iron the hair, and we're set for school pictures, and as we're racing out the door I have to drop everything (not the coffee, please not the coffee, by God I'm taking my coffee with me)....drop everything on granite counter to SIGN and FILL OUT the school pictures form. I can't do it in carpool line--too much, no pen....gotta do it here....."Mama we gotta go" my oldest child yells. "Hold on," I say, scanning form. Retouched--that's kinda cheezy--we always have leftover photos--which package--which f-ing package. Hubby walks in kitchen, "What are you doing honey" he says sweetly taking a big full sip of his coffee, "ya'll are gonna be late, you gotta" Before he could finish I look up from form and with my very bitchiest, mommydearest voice I say, "You didn't do the school pictures form last night?" "Get me the checkbook," I bark at him. Him who has made the school lunches, him who is the absolute love of my life, him who is a really, really good husband and Daddy. "The checkbook," I snarl. He hands me the checkbook. I'm writing furiously--you know for effect. Thinking-- I have to do everything--Mama has to do it, or it doesn't get done. Do I have to tell everyone what to do all the time......John is hurt. Borderline pissed. We exchange looks--BTW his looks are waaaay better than anything I can come up with. But I throw him one back--this isn't MY fault---we get in car--"Ok, you have the note honey, " I ask my oldest-she is going home with a friend. See I made sure she has a note......it's endless. And I'm frustrated because mornings are madness. Endless the things I do, everyday, many times a day with noone telling me what to do. I'm mad as hell (maybe at myself). The kids are aware. I slam my seatbelt--turn on the car--and fishtail outta my driveway like Cruella DeVille........
Carpool complete. Kids delivered. Calmed down. Necessary coffee now cold. As I drive up to my house, I'm hoping I will see John's car. Nope. He's gone. I'll have to apologize later.


SECONDLY---
Had a dentist appointment this am. My dentist is my brother-in-law--who I really adore. He removed a wisdom tooth that had a cavity. Jason told me since the wisdom tooth was "really small" I could just go ahead and remove it. The only thing I have to compare "really small" with is my children's teeth, so I envisioned a baby tooth......I was shocked to see my "small" wisdom tooth......that's not small at all!!! Now that I think about it--of course my children's baby teeth wouldn't be adequate for an adult. At the time I formed the opinion--and envisioned the baby tooth--I'd never seen an adult tooth. Jason, as a professional and a dentist, had a totally different perspective than I. This experience has really illuminated my thinking---about perspective. All of us do this each day.....we form opinions, thoughts and judgments about how a procedure will go--or how an experience will go---from our own perspective, which is not necessarily the most astute perspective........hmmmmm. Did I just say I'm dumb??

"How-dat-do-dat?"

There is a familiar story in my family about a statement I made as a toddler. Sadly, it resonates with me today. At 2, (I'm guessing 2 1/2) I witnessed a technological event unbelievable to me. Maybe it was the changing of channels on the the big Zenith, or maybe it was the ring of a rotary telephone. Mom and Dad might remember. Whatever I observed was amazing to me, and I blurted out "How-dat-do-dat?"
I find myself these days in a perpetual state of "how-dat-do-dat?"

Yesterday evening I had another moment. My little sister Sam got our new blog on the airways! The name was a no-brainer, we wanted to use MommyDiva. We included Interchange in the title to denote a place of exchange--a place where mothers can give and take. I was slightly in awe that the blog was up and on the screen. Our platform in cyberspace had been assembled in less than 10 minutes--the content would be the challenge but I kept staring at the screen......right there before me--MommyDiva Interchange. Huh I thought. Pretty cool.

We stayed on the telephone discussing content, words, phrasing and I kept 'refreshing' to view the updates as Sam revised the blog. I was focused on the introductory sentences and some favorite memories when my eyes wandered down to the left of the page--holy shi! we have a follower. OMG. I can't believe it--someone found us? How? Thousands and thousands of people. My thoughts and mind raced. Unbelievable, I thought. There we are, participants in the wide open blogsphere. Huh. As a participant I was trying to work it out--the computer programs we studied in Ms. Birdwhsitle's class have come alooong way! How do they? Where does the information...How'd...."How-dat-do-dat?"
I dunno, but we hope you'll come along and share the ride!!!



I've been writing and talking and rehearsing in my mind many, many important meaningful subjects and topics for many, many months. Writing on motherhood, marriage, career, loss of career, re-entering career, friendships, family relationships and Faith. Occasionally, as I write furiously trying to record my thoughts my husband will catch me, "Are you doing that 'beautiful mind' shit again?" Yep. Guilty. I don't write on the walls of our home--yet-- but he glances at piles of paper where I've scribbled the meaningful scenes of my life, and I know I'm failing myself, and maybe him, with my inaction. The issue for me, and I think for him, isn't is there merit in what I'm writing. Rather, if what I've written just stays in a pile--and if I continue to write 'beautiful mind' style--what a HUGE waste of time.

So my little sister has given me an outlet. Yesterday she set up this blog and she and I composed our first post. That was fun! This exercise--solo--is harder.

It's so much easier. The 'beautiful mind' way. I'm thinking, right now, I can't do this post. The finished product--this first post--isn't going to be what I envisioned. I want a Southern Living post--pretty, neat and tidy. And this feels like Do-It-Yourself-Home-Depot second-rate-post. I can't possibly convey all I want in one post!!