Christmas (and other) Cheer

Ahhhhh. Let's reflect for a moment on Christmas, and other 'cheer.'

Our family enjoys different traditions that we've come to look forward to each year.

Christmas Eve is spent with John's Dad (Boo) and his wife (Cici). There is a long-standing tradition of the Fareses getting together Christmas Eve, and our children expect to go to Boo & Cici's the day before Christmas! My husband grew up going to his Farese grandparents on Christmas Eve--exchanging gifts with cousins and sharing the anticipation of the most cherished day of the year. I included a photo of our girls at the "little table" Cici always provided! The afternoon of Christmas Day is spent with John's sweet mother and her family. The 'Stannard' side of the family gets together at their compound in Holly Springs [side note: YES, I'm aware my side of the family is missing from our Christmas traditions and I'm slightly bitter, but that's another post!] John's mother and her husband have a beautiful home next to her sister, John's aunt Vicki, and her husband. Vivian & Vicki are MommyDivas from way back--honey, they can do it all. Vivian decks her halls beautifully--I have a 'bit' to live up to! In spite of suffering from breast cancer (and her husband recently recovered from lung cancer) my mother-in-law graciously had us to her home Christmas Day. Thanks be to God for traditions that keep all of us motivated during exceedingly difficult times. Vivian and Smitty have been an inspiration--when the worst comes you live each day with resolve, dignity and as much strength as you can muster.

We always get together and exchange gifts with our dear friends the Tannehills. We do this a few days before Christmas and this year we went to their house....we enjoyed a delicious meal and their home was decorated beautifully. As dear friends do, we always feel at ease with the Tannehills. We have loads of fun together--laughing, talking and catching-up.

We also have a tradition of getting together with our friends the Greens and Callicutts--and the children decorate cookies for Santa. This is really one of our favorite activities during the holiday. The iced cookies are delicious--this year Kate made over 60 cookies for the kids to decorate (we are definitely getting her some help next year) and our barn proved to be an easy place for the kids to get reeeeeealy messy while icing and decorating their Christmas-shaped cookies! I'll get the recipe from her and post....MommyDiva you really MUST work this tradition into your holiday next year...or perhaps Valentine's??

Speaking of Valentine's--my Vixen friends will recall a time when we made cookies in college for our significant others--my pre-cooking days--and my cookies were U-G-L-Y....ahhhhh. They laughed at my cookies. It's true. I remember. And I know those hussies do too! Also, I remember Maria--see her blog at left "Life in the Afternoon" was particularly proud of HER cookies....and I vivdly remember Dr. Ash GLOATING about hers! Someone has photos that document my hell-ish confections. Holla Holla Vixens!!

And...eat your heart out while viewing our cookies for Santa! Maybe I'll send cookies your way for Valentines....while I'm "writing a letter to the Editor." And maybe Gregg Graham is reading THIS post!!!!!!! LOL.....For those of you who don't know Dr. Ash...she is reeeeeally good at--well, many things but I'm thinking right now of her uncanny ability to distract baseball players during their minor league game.....Honey, it was "Sweet Briar night" at the Lynchburg Red Sox game. Of course, WE were the cutest girls there!!! Honey, the cutest in all of Virginia as far as that goes! Dr. Ash, you MUST meet my friend RT--who also had a penchant for baseball players during college....

I don't mind telling you I feel very Blessed by the friendships I have made through the years--these women keep me sane! My girlfriends, my sister, my mother, my Dad's wife and my in-laws--all women I refer to as MommyDivas--help me stay grounded and navigate the rollercoaster ride of motherhood! (And, of course, my beloved Buford T.)

I wish each of you an AUTHENTIC 2010....honey, it ain't gonna be perfect! But life as a mother is rich and full and glorious....most days. There are moments...it f-ing sucks.

So....I wish you an AUTHENTIC 2010...'happy' is blase MommyDivas.

YOU deserve more!

He's Back!!!

Jingle. Santa's elf.

Our Elf on the Shelf.

If you don't have an elf visiting during Christmas...you're missing some fun!

Although, some of my MommyDiva friends scoff at the little goofy elf.

I understand.

But Jingle's arrival has become a tradition in our home.

Sam & I want to hear about other MommyDiva holiday traditions!! Does Jingle have a cuz hanging out down in St. Simons?? Has Elf on the Shelf made it to Kentucky?? It's our turn to create holiday magic MommyDivas!!!

Speaking of magic.....get your a$$ in front of a fire with your hubby or significant other.....preferably have him build you a fire in the bedroom (or, if you're a real woman like one of my friends you'll build the fire!)....certainly the light of a Christmas tree will provide ambience (ok, this makes me slightly cold thinking of being nude in front of the tree....so I'm back to the bedroom).

Pah-leez get your children outta the house--the kind of magic I'm talking about is not for children....and MommyDivas let's be honest.....ain't no real 'magic happenin' when a woman is worried about her children seeing Daddy's ass in the air! Honey, you know it's true. Sometime during the holiday season make time for yourself or for you and your man. Enlist the help of family, in-laws or other MommyDivas! Ho Ho Ho!!!

MUCH ADO About....

the Reading Fair???
You bet your sweet ass there is!
If your child hasn't participated in a reading fair you are missing out....on many levels.
Planning & executing is memorable but displaying the board is humbling!

We were feeling good as we walked into the school....my daughter selected Fancy Nancy, which is a purrrrfect choice (I applauded her selection) because she is 'fancy' after all.
The perfect book, the perfect personality that goes with the book...all the stars are lining up...

As if I didn't realize how lackluster my own craft skills are.....we have a gymnasium full of posters to remind me!
But this is HER project I remind myself. She did it. And she's supposed to.
Damn there are some crafty elementary school children, I think as I survey the gym.

I scan my daughter's tri-fold board....The sequin fabric applied as a dress to the hand-drawn body....
the title traced in glue and appropriately glittered.....
her handwriting visible on the board so it is adequately 'homemade'......
Just right I conclude.....UNTIL....

a GIANT paper-machie lighthouse is placed on the cardtable next to us.
My daughter's eyes get as big as saucers, as if to say "Mama LOOK at that."
"Ok honey," I avert my eyes, putting the final touches on our table--the lighthouse is like kryptonite--my God, that thing is HUGE.
"Stand in front of the table and let's get a picture," I say to my daughter.
"Maaaa-ma." She kinda rolls her eyes.....WE are worthy I'm thinking.....
"Do we haaaaave to?" She asks. And like a punch in the gut, there it is....she is no longer ecstatic about her project. "Damn lighthouse," I think. "Dont you have anything better to do? Who is it" I'm thinking while smiling through my teeth at my loving daughter. "Just one pic, honey." She complies.

I hold out my hand and she grabs it firmly. "Ok, let's go to class," I tell my daughter.
On the way out we smile at familiar faces--other adults and children we know.
"Well maybe she's still in it. It's possible. If judges like the homemade look." I think to myself.
As we make our way through the crowd of parents, cardtables and tri-fold boards we are pushed into a nice-looking family presumably of Middle-Eastern descent--the mother is casually dressed with a stylish scarf covering her hair.
What catches my eye as we pass this family is the beautiful, green-glittered styrofoam frog on the tri-fold board.....and the Dad's big ear-to-ear grin...
"You gotta be kiddin' me" I think--"they're not even American!"
My daughter and I make our way toward her room and I can't get the sparkling styrofoam frog outta my mind. Seriously. We should get bonus points for being natural-born citizens, I think as I smile, hug my daughter and wave goodbye. "Have a great day, honey."

Yes. I realize the pettiness of my redneck cracker thoughts.....No. I don't think any other family is less deserving....I was raised to judge people on their character, not by the color of their skin. Who am I to say....maybe their family has lived in this country for generations. Maybe their grandparents have served in the U.S. military, and if they haven't maybe they appreciate this country even more than me because they've seen and lived in other parts of the world where freedom of religion and speech are not part of daily life.

Well....that last part is just blasphemy--'cause there ain't NO family more patriotic than mine.
But whose to say....

Thanks Willie...

As I walked through our bathroom to the laundry room THIS is what I encountered!

No. Growing up in Kentucky we didn't have lizards....or armadillos.

Yes. I jumped outta my skin when I saw him perched on our counter.

Clearly he (or she) are they asexual? Let's call it a 'he'--honey you know Mama lizard back at the ranch holding down the lizard-hole while this dude is runnin' around exploring. So. He is not that big, however, his presence was unexpected and I let out a shrill. Kids run in--"Mama what is it?" "Get me the broom" I say as I march toward the kitchen to the fetch the broom. The kids can't move quickly enough, I think, gotta do it myself--"Mamie can get it," my youngest declares. That's already crossed my mind. Our housekeeper-she picks them up by the tail and casually pitches him-or her-outside. I tried. I walked toward the lizard and took a deep breath.....and even reached for the long tail. Will his tail drop off? Or is that a chameleon? In my mind, I see myself holding the thin tail and the lizard wildly wriggling toward my wrist.....Nope. Can't do it. So I go for the broom. I hold the broom trying to get the small-minded beast to jump on. He races toward the corner of the mirror. I lay the broom out again, hoping he'll race up it and then I'll run outside....

He scoots to the edge of our counter....and then, incredibly, does a 'hail Mary' jump onto the bathroom floor. "Eeeeek" our children scream and run backwards to our closet. "Get in the shower" one of them screams. I'm stunned by the lizard's jump. Damn. Surely he's dead.

He wiggles around....and I begin sweeping him. If I can get him over the threshold and into the hallwayI think, we're almost outside. I give him a firm whack and he rolls into the hallway. As I scoot pass the door and get my broom ready for the next threshold....there stands our faithful dog Willie. Relief! Willie stands firm and looks at me....he senses tension, I see it in his stance.

I give the lizard a tap, "Look Willie," and Willie knows from the tone of my voice he has a treat. Willie braces his legs and eyeballs the little reptile.....before I can speak he pounces the lizard--I see the lizard wriggling--Willie readjusts his mouth and takes the green little varment outside.

Ahhhhh. Willie. Of course. Why didn't I think of him sooner.

I'm slightly embarrassed that I didn't just pick up the lizard.....what would Ma Ingalls have done? She could do it. My Appalachian ancestors could have picked it up--hell, they might have boiled it up for dinner.

I've been thinking lately about how comfortable life is today. I think of the struggles other generations of Americans have faced. I think of the suffering in other parts of the world. As a society and Nation we don't value the Blessings of freedom, of having plenty of food and shelter. When we're too hot we turn up the air conditioning and if we're too cold we turn up the heat. Gotta give a shout-out to hubby Buford T., who builds an exceptional fire and impresses me as a person who could truly live off the land. Me? I'd be fine, as long as I can bring Willie.

Ma Ingalls had a dog, I reassure myself. That's why pioneers had dogs--for protection and help as much as companionship. I'm not advocating we get a covered wagon, move out West and live in a yert, but I do want to be more intentional about counting my Blessings. Like our faithful dog Willie.

Happy Belated Birthday.....

I refuse to do a post before I wish my older daughter happy belated birthday!!!
This precious girl made me a Mama....and Sammy an An-tie!!

The BLessing of motherhood arrived for me 10 years ago...thanks be to God for our first-born! And thank God Buford T. is considerate and did NOT eat a double cheeseburger in front of his laboring wife who feasted on ice chips.....

Baby girl weighed in at a healthy 8lbs 3oz...and was a textbook delivery.....
She was in no rush to get here (always content with her surroundings!) and arrived precisely 1 week to the day after her due date.

We celebrated her 10th with a birthday tea party last Sunday.....
TWENTY TWEENS joined us to celebrate!!!!

I have my own favorite birthday memories, including:
all-night slumber parties in our recreation room...
seeing Raiders of the Lost Ark on the big screen....
and of course, my 8th birthday when Aunt Paula gave me the Shawn Cassidy 33 and a yellow plastic turntable....also loved the Donna Summer 33 "Last Dance"
thanks to my Mom for plannig and executing these parties and for my Dad who paid for them!!!

MommyDiva Goes NUTS.....

This MommyDiva went NUTS yesterday......And I just had to tell you about it!

My little boyfriend was home sick from pre-school.

So. I'm home-again-for the day with my 3 year old son.

Like any good romance my son and I had an extraordinary honeymoon. In fact, the honeymoon with my litle boyfriend, who IS a "mini-me" of my darling hubby, lasted.....gosh, a good 2 1/2 years! Quite a romance. I fell HARD for this little man. You know, the last child (**crossing myself, thank you God for our Blessings but my heart is full**) and after 2 girls--a baby boy. Ahhhhhhh.

I would not have believed, nor would I have wanted to hear, or listen, when girlfriends said "a boy is just different." Alas, they are. But just like any good romance, our 'honeymoon' came to an end. It's bound to happen. The euphoria--the incredible, sensational overwhelming joy, and thrill, that flows from a new romance. So, when he received his first spank-down I declared the honeymoon over and I mourned, a little.

As relationships do, we have entered a bit of a 'dysfunctional stage.'
You know.....I frequently ask my little boyfriend, "Why are you yelling at me?"
Or, I find myself telling my little boyfriend, "You're just rude to me. Ask nicely."
Finally, my daughters will say to me, "Do something Mama. Aren't you going to spank him?"
Normally, yes. But MommyDivas.....I'm tired. And well he's only 39 months old. I mean he's been on this Earth....not very long. So, I give him some breaks.

Yesterday he and I had a fight. Over Lincoln Logs. I was helping him build a house.
"Play wif me Mama," he asks sweetly. Ok. Ok. So we're on the floor and I'm building a stellar cabin. When the devil appears. "NO!" "Not like that Mama." As 3 yr. olds do, he is trying to put the shorter log on the side.....and it doesn't fit......and I try and correct him.....and it just goes down him from there. I get pissed at me--and him--because I'm on the floor 'playing' after all.

Neither of us wants to be home.
He's better. And I want to be in a nice office practicing law somewhere, checking email and drinking coffee.

So. We venture OUTSIDE and go NUTS!!!

Truly. Walking around my yard always calms me down.
My son hops in his miniature Gator.....and collects sticks (doing man's work) "I workin' Mama."
And as we're collecting sticks, he spots an acorn. He laughs a big laugh at the little nut, holding it in his pudgy hand.
"His hat come off, Mama." Yes, it did I think. And I start collecting acorns with him. This collecting becomes a game. "Let's get a bag," I tell him. "Yea." He says excitedly.

And, as we gather acorns I am struck at the beauty and variety of their colors. Ranging from deep chocolate.....to a limey green. My favorites are the 'double acorns' and the ones that have a little stem.

I begin to have grandiose ideas......I can make wreaths for all of my windows.
I am Martha--I can do it.

The nuts are still in a pile. I doubt I'll take the time to hot-glue them to anything.
Of course, I'll have to buy a hot-glue gun first.

But getting outside. Collecting acorns.
Just being present in this wide-open world God made.
Prevented this MommyDiva from going NUTS......

Company's Comin'--MommyDiva Decorating

As I write this the Rebels and Vandy are still playing. While most Rebel fans are focused on the game at-hand, this MommyDiva can't help but plan and think about our company comin' into town for the next 3 home football games! I do love hosting friends and family......

Next week is Alabama and my father (Papa) and his wife (Gigi) are coming in from AZ. The following week is Homecoming--and we have a tradition of attending the parade and visiting with Tupelo friends, and their 3 girls, who are the same ages as our children. The next weekend is the Arkansas game , I think, and my 2 Allen step-brothers are coming to visit my brother Will--and staying in our recently renovated 'barn.'

Soooooooooooo. Let's decorate hussies. Not everyone will have home-grown Native-American Indian corn (courtesy of my step-Dad, who my children affectionately call 'Big Woo') to fashion as garland, but I have faith in you girls that you will indulge in nature's bounty! No kidding. Don't let this glorious season pass without adequately adorning your home with pumpkins, gourds and the like. You're creating memories MommyDiva.....

My sister will be jealous of the corn garland and corn bundles that will welcome Papa & Gigi back East from Arizona. A big thank you to my mother for helping tie the garland....and to my little boyfriend for helping also. No thanks to Buford T. who has little appreciation for corn bundles and garland!!!

Coming soon............pumpkin cheese ball!!!!!!!

Yes, Mississippi has a corner on cute.....

Honey, stop lookin' around, we're the cutest girls here!!!

Holla Holla to my Vixen friends!!!

A-team Van & Game Day in the Grove

Isn't it fun getting a night-out!!! Beware of the danger to over-indulge, I'm familiar with this scenario. So exciting to be with friends and adults, to NOT be barking orders, to be relaxed and remember the woman we were before kiddies.

I love that feeling when you're anticipating a night-out...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_2rrxONlLo

Getting dressed, looking forward to being with hubby and friends. I vividly remember getting ready with college friends --the Vixens- for a night-out. Much has changed in my life but the woman inside is still the same. She needs to be fed with friendships and fun. She needs to stop and remember what really makes her laugh--what makes her heart go pitter-pat....and what sets her on fire.

Went out with hubby & friends last night.......and took a new car service in town (highly recommend!) Have a choice of presidential limo, pimp mobile and the A-team van.
This was a no-brainer, we chose the van...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIfuaUTH9Y4

"I'm not sure I ever saw an entire episode of the A-team." I innocently declared to hubby and our friends. "I remember my father loving the show but...."
"What?" My husband interrupted, his face contorted like he was in pain....... "Are you shit!ing me??" I wasn't offended. He and I talk like we're friends......well, we are friends. "While all y'alls favorites were Love Boat and Dallas and whatever else...." Big swig of beer--for effect-- he continues, "Mine was the A-team." Others said A-team was their favorite. One girlfriend concurred with John, and said she and her brother would tune in. Then we talked about Simon & Simon. And somebody said Gerald McRaney could be a real a$$--they'd met him on the coast, and then we referenced Delta Burke, who starred in Designing Women with Franklin, Kentucky's, own Annie Potts!!!

We remembered another show we loved......I've never heard of a person that didn't love this show. And when I watched this video--well, my heart went pitter-pat....!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRX4mlFi06A




GAME DAY at our house. This means hubby has a one-track mind. Run an errand for me? Depends. If the errand, or success of the errand, is tangentially related to the football game then no prob. Otherwise, hubby--will NOT be going out of his way.....whatever else there is, can wait!! One-track. Focus. I said focus. Sharp--sharper.....zone in--zone in hussies......Are you ready?? Are you ready for football season?

Hubby's one-track mind....all things fall to Mama.....blah blah blah..... And like hunting, golf, or fishing your man, like my man, is bound to submerge himself over the next 4 months. You and your family's emotional well-being are in the hands of 100 20 year-old males. This seems reasonable.

So we have the testosterone-driven football obsessions but leave it to the women of Mississippi to make tail-gating something special. An event. The biggest and best dispaly of Southern hospitality you will find. In fact, Mississippians will agree there have been too many years recently where football was the sideshow--tailgating in The Grove took precedence over the football. Picture this. An ocean of red, white & blue tents. Tents with Ole Miss banners. Tents with the "name" of your tailgating group. The Grove has gone from being a wooded green-spot in the middle of the University of Mississippi campus to a full-blown part of the vernacular-Who do you Grove with? Where do y'all Grove.

When you visit you'll admire the beautifully decorated tables. Topped first with a white tablecloth , or the more informal burlap we use in our tent--which falls to the ground (please hide your cooler underneath, it just ain't fittin to have all that showin')-- and then the red, white & blue toppers. Get out your Hotty Toddy styrofoam cups for the drinks and your blue and red napkins. Don't forget your mum--no table is complete without a centerpiece--paaaa-leez.

It doesn't stop there. I could handle that. Oh no, there's more. Homemade goodies. Yep. Finger foods. Tenderloin and biscuits (you're allowed to use Sister Schubert's). Dips. Crescent rolls stuffed with all manner of goodness, and of course homemade desserts. This is more than one bitch can take. AND, don't forget Mississippi is a land of beauty queens........that's another post.

Enjoy a few photos from our day......and a recipe for lemon squares (from friend Liza M).
Hotty Toddy!!!

Lemon Bars Deluxe:
crust:
2 c flour
1/2 c powdered sugar
1 c butter, softened
filling:
4 eggs, beaten
2 c sugar
1/2 c lemon juice(can substitute w/lime, I did!)
1/4 c flour
1/2 t banking powder
crust:
stir flour and powdered sugar together. cut in butter. press dough into greased 9x13.
Bake 350 for 25-30 min.
filling:
combine eggs, sugar, and lemon juice. stir flour and baking powder into egg mixture. pour over baked crust. bake 350 for 25-30 minutes. cool. sprinkle with powdered sugar. cut into bars.