Friday, January 22, 2010

Me,Myself & I

Do you talk to yourself?
Do you talk to yourself out-loud?
Well, I do.
I remember my own mother doing this. And I distinctly remember furrowing my brow and giving her the "what in the hell" look....and I distinctly remember her ignoring me and carrying on the rest of her consversation--with herself.
Honey, women particularly like to "talk through" things....

I've been talking myself OUT OFF new Hartman luggage.
The conversation in my mind has gone something like this.....
Self: You need new luggage. You can't continue to carry that stuff through the airport.
Hubby: I carry your bags.
Self/Greedy Self: God I love him and I see his fine sexy self carrying my bags....
Greedy bitch self: Just go up to Tuesday Morning and get that fabulous luggage--okay, yes its expensive BUT it looks sooooo f-ing good. And that darling cosmetic tote....And now you have TWO trips coming up. You need it.
Self: No. FIVE HUNDRED is too much for a garment bag on wheels and that's not EVEN the cosmetic bag which is....
Greedy bitch self: You de-serve it. I mean you've reached an age where you can have nice things AND it will last FOR-ever....I see myself walking down the airport terminal, laughing and talking to my friends--I'm pulling the beautiful Hartman bag and the darling (and I DO mean darling) tote is flung over my shoulder. Yep....gotta have it. And if some other hussy goes up there and gets it......
Self: You can't aaaa-fford it.
Greedy bitch self: WHAT!?! (totally insulted).
Self: I mean really. How much is enough? Can't the fact that you're going on two fabulous trips be enough.
GReedy bitch self: Shut that bitch up. Visualize the TOTE....the tote is on your....
Self: Seriously. Grab an American Tourister in a great color--luggage gets so banged up anyway. You bought the bed for NEED a piece of furniture to put that shitty tv on...and NOW you gotta have Hartman luggage???? Where does it end?
And, who the fu$! decided Hartman was the end-all be all....My family, I think. They always had Hartman. Nothing would do but Hartman.....
Self (cont'd.): Well, YOU know your limits and don't forget you'll find something on these trips you like....not to mention the cost of taking kids....WAIT.... Dran, who is THE most fiscally responsible person in my family did NOT have Hartman when she traveled the world....I vividly remember now....she had bright red....AMERICAN TOURISTER. "Big Red" She called it. Huh.
Greedy bitch self: Great.....Dockers here we come....
Self: I mean.....maybe the REASON Dran could travel the world is because she chose American Tourister....Dran has always been stylish, and kept a beautiful home and traveling--broadening her world and her grandchildren's--has always been of the utmost importance to her but she wasn't an extravagant person. Practical. She lived within her means. She chose the Tourister because she could get to Isthanbul and Prague just as efficiently and effectively as if she'd chosen....
Greedy bitch self: blah, blah. blah....
Self: And. Even IF I had the fabulous tote flung on my shoulder.....would it make my trip any better or more memorable? No.
Greedy bitch self: ok, maybe a smidge.....u know through the airport....
Self: But over all no--it's the people and friendships that make the trips memorable.
Greedy bitch self: What about the pictures? you know the clothes/accessories for the trip that appear in photographs.....
Self: SOMEONE shut her up.....NO. it's to carpool.
I'm happy "we" worked through this.


  1. Wait a minute . . . are you saying that they have Hartman at Tuesday morning???


  2. Yes...get the FAB cosmetic tote for $299--then I'll be out of my misery thinking about it!!

  3. Just got back from a trip out to Sun Valley and our suitcases were trashed! Buck commented that it was 6 flights and of course that would happen. I am partial to a bright suitcase or duffel that is easy to spot (who would take a big orange duffel monogrammed "Buck" or "Muffin" -- maybe you should have yours labeled MD: Mommy diva, doctah, mad dad, anything you want it to be...)-- I think best deals are at department store sales or lands end (yes, that is where we got the big orange "BUCK" bag!!).
    That being said, I think it is nice to have a cute carry on as I am guilty of look good, feel good mentality!!
    Hope that helps you rationalize or derationalize as only a vixen can do!!

  4. LOVE it! Glad to see I'm not the only one having these conversations...totally remember Mom's conversations with herself...LMAO!

    Can't wait to hear the outcome...much love & hugs!

  5. Ash-Love the idea of a big orange bag. We may copy you & Buck!! Holla holla!