Wednesday, October 7, 2009

MommyDiva is Born...or Buh-Bye Soccer Mom, Hello MommyDiva!

No. No. No.
It's not 1971.....
And no, I'm not doing a post on birth stories (later).....
Yet, I'm quite sure a MommyDiva was 'born' today-- a stellar woman having given birth to a precious child!

So. Having given birth to 3 precious children and having exited the legal profession--for a variety of reasons (later)--I was impatient about staying home exclusively and not doing any 'paid work.' Our youngest was 7 months. I had a housekeeper 2 days a week, I think. My oldest in school full-time and the middle at pre-school half-day. I give you this information because it is pertinent to my situation at the time. Until all 3 of my children were in school full-time (8-3) I would not pursue my legal career again.

I decided to pursue something completely different than what I was trained to do.

Hosting trunk shows and selling women's clothing would be exciting and fun. A challenge. I would also get a discount on the clothing. Perfect. I could be at home full-time but be involved in a business venture.

I had to name the new agency. Hmmmmm.

I envisioned my girlfriends (those who live here and those out-of-town), and other women in town who I thought might be interested in the clothes.
Some of these women work. Some stay-home. Some of them have part-time work.
Most of them have children.
They are professionals. They are artists. They are innovators.

"Girls playing dress-up" kept coming to mind. Every woman I know is a 'girl' at heart.
Don't the boys know this? Just like every man is a 'boy' at heart. We are no different.
It's just a matter of peeling back the layers of responsibility and anxiety we face, daily, as mothers.

Somehow 'girls' didn't do my friends and acquaintances justice.
We like to be 'girly.' But we have also faced and survived....lived to tell about and share meaningful life experiences. These women deserve more, I thought. "Girls" isn't enough.

And, it's not about whether you work or stay-home, I concluded.
(MommyWars are OUT!)
It's about mothering our children.
It's about being the very best mother we can be.
It's about maintaining our individuality as women, while mothering. We must.

Soooooooo. MommyDiva.

MommyDiva??? Is that gay sounding?? Who the fu$! cares-I like it.
Mamadiva? No--too southern.
mommydiva? That shi! reminds me of ee cummings.....
Huh. I love it, I thought. Yea. MommyDiva. That's it. That's the name I'll give my new agency.

My friends...childhood, college, law-school, and adult--these women in my life are MommyDivas.
My mother...who continues to mother even though her 2 daughters have children of their own!
My sister...who has children AND is bringing home the bacon AND frying it up in the pan....

There are MommyDivas everywhere.
Single MommyDivas. Married MommyDivas.
MommyDivas of all racial and ethnic backgrounds.

We don't cease to be women with wants, desires and needs when we become mothers.
On the contrary, we should view our individuality as a responsibility to our family and children.
Honey, if Mama ain't happy, nobody is happy.

It's ok to say that mothering is one aspect of my life. Not my entire life.
Do you hear me hussy? It's ok. Do something for yourself. Do something aside from kids.
Claim your individuality MommyDiva!

I remember both parents telling me, you can never know how much a parent loves a child until you have your own. And I understand now. There is no greater reward than motherhood.
And no bigger challenge.....except being a wife.
I don't remember anyone telling me--ever-- how essential maintaing my individuality as a woman is to being an emotionally healthy, effective mother.

WE are the women who now carry the torch of motherhood.....

Buh-by 'soocer Mom.'

Hellooooooooo Mommy Diva!!!

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