Wednesday, September 30, 2009

B-A-B-Y

Some things NEVER change! Like my baby sister acting like a BABY!
For as long as I can remember Sammy has gotten 'her way' by whining, complaining, pouting, fussing, or otherwise playing up her role as 'the baby.'

"Maaaaa-maaaa"-- she would screech.
Muffin did this. Muffin won't let me do this.....Muffin said this......
And my mother, like many mothers, always addressed the oldest child first.
"Muffin, what did you do?" "Muffin, what did you say?" "Muffin, just let her play too."
That Sammy--she always gets her way, I would fume.
They are harder on me, I used to think.

Fast forward 20--okay, 30 years. I now have 2 girls of my own. I see and understand very clearly that Mom wasn't always "taking up for Sam" like I used to think. Rather, Mom expected something different from her older child. I know this because I live this phenomenon everyday. These roles of 'the baby' and 'the boss' are even more exaggerated, I think, when 2 children are the same gender.

"Maaaaaaa-maaaaa." My younger daughter screams.
"She's being mean." "She hit me."
My typical response is directed to my older daughter, "What in the hell are you doin' to her?" "Can't I have a moment of peace in my own house?" I have even uttered the birth order mantra---"Honey, YOU are the oldest. You are supposed to be more mature. Just ignore her."
I tell my older daughter, not hiding or couching the expectation we have of her.

To which my older daughter typically responds, "You always take up for her." Hmmmmmm.
Or, my daughter responds, "You're always on her side." Hmmmmmm.
I know that feeling. I've lived that feeling.

As a parent, I don't intend to 'take up for' either child but sometimes--often--the birth order makes a difference in the expectation we have of our children. I see and understand family dynamics in a new way, as I watch them play-out in our household.

Hell, by the time my third-child gets to elementary school we'll have ZERO expectation--which, of course, is another post!

GYBGPO (get-your-big-girl-panties-on) Sammy!!! LOL.

Wednesday is church-night. No more posts at this time.......tune-in late-night!

2 comments:

  1. Sounds like someone else is doing a little bit of whining these days...what about those "big girl panties"...I think someone else needs to purchase a pair as well (if you don't already have some...hahaha!)!! LOL...no, actually, LMAO!!

    Agree 100% on how motherhood totally changes perspective on things...had many "ah-ha" moments myself over the past 5 years!!

    This is such great therapy...love ya!

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  2. Aunt Sammy--don't be talking 'bout the size of my panties on the WWW!! After 3 kiddies Mama got a little bit of everything in her stash. And let's be honest about how our phone conversation went a few minutes ago.....you said, "I KNOW you got some big girl panties!" Whereupon I called you a "Bee-yatch!" LOL. Took me a minute to figure out the LMAO!!!
    I haven't laughed this much in a loooong time. Love you Boochie.

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