Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Some things NEVER change! Like my baby sister acting like a BABY!
For as long as I can remember Sammy has gotten 'her way' by whining, complaining, pouting, fussing, or otherwise playing up her role as 'the baby.'

"Maaaaa-maaaa"-- she would screech.
Muffin did this. Muffin won't let me do this.....Muffin said this......
And my mother, like many mothers, always addressed the oldest child first.
"Muffin, what did you do?" "Muffin, what did you say?" "Muffin, just let her play too."
That Sammy--she always gets her way, I would fume.
They are harder on me, I used to think.

Fast forward 20--okay, 30 years. I now have 2 girls of my own. I see and understand very clearly that Mom wasn't always "taking up for Sam" like I used to think. Rather, Mom expected something different from her older child. I know this because I live this phenomenon everyday. These roles of 'the baby' and 'the boss' are even more exaggerated, I think, when 2 children are the same gender.

"Maaaaaaa-maaaaa." My younger daughter screams.
"She's being mean." "She hit me."
My typical response is directed to my older daughter, "What in the hell are you doin' to her?" "Can't I have a moment of peace in my own house?" I have even uttered the birth order mantra---"Honey, YOU are the oldest. You are supposed to be more mature. Just ignore her."
I tell my older daughter, not hiding or couching the expectation we have of her.

To which my older daughter typically responds, "You always take up for her." Hmmmmmm.
Or, my daughter responds, "You're always on her side." Hmmmmmm.
I know that feeling. I've lived that feeling.

As a parent, I don't intend to 'take up for' either child but sometimes--often--the birth order makes a difference in the expectation we have of our children. I see and understand family dynamics in a new way, as I watch them play-out in our household.

Hell, by the time my third-child gets to elementary school we'll have ZERO expectation--which, of course, is another post!

GYBGPO (get-your-big-girl-panties-on) Sammy!!! LOL.

Wednesday is church-night. No more posts at this time.......tune-in late-night!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

A new "Soul Sister"...

MommyDiva friends...let me introduce you to Anna Grace, my now almost 9 month old baby girl. A dear friend of mine, Amanda Smith, did this video for us...and I thought I would share with everyone. You will also get a small dose of my oldest, Jonathan (a/k/a JP)...his expressions are simply priceless!

I absolutely loved the outcome...Amanda's blog is now listed under our "soul sisters"...feel free to check out more of her work...and, congrats to her on just welcoming a new baby girl to her family in August of this year!

Thanks again Amanda for the fabulous video...I will cherish always!


Saturday, September 26, 2009

Some things NEVER change...take 2 (didn't like the 1st post, came across all wrong after a re-read)!!!

There is something about having a big sister that will absolutely NEVER change...her liking to take control of situations. To this day my big sis "enjoys" advising me on how to handle situations at home, at work, with my kids, and now with the blog. I love her dearly, but from my earliest memories she has always taken control of things we do together...from selling lemonade behind our house during the golf tournament, to the neighborhood olympics, to now with MommyDiva Interchange. Don't get me wrong...I absolutely LOVE the things she has done with the blog...she is very creative and more makes me laugh every time I'm thinking of putting a post out here, she is one step ahead of me...posting again, adding pics again, or editing, in my most loving, sisterly way...I must say, Muffin this isn't the "Muffin show"...and I am now issuing your 2nd nice or your PRIVILEGES WILL BE REVOKED...LOL!!

Something else, a little more personal & frustrating, that still hasn't fat tail...every time I look in the mirror I hope to see one less dice. Maybe this is why I am wanting fall to get her so quickly...fall clothes cover the flaws so much better than spring/summer items. I get so tired of hearing..."but you just had a baby" what...that was almost 9 months ago. What really pisses me off is that my "weight" is a little lower than pre-pregnancy...but my butt is bigger...I know, I know..."things shift with each pregnancy"...that is for the hell with the "shifting". Maybe the root of all this is that I am pissed because I haven't adjusted near as quickly to life with 2 as I did with life with 1...I haven't been able to work out regularly (if hardly at all)...very frustrating!! I keep telling myself..."when the baby starts sleeping all night I'll start working out in the mornings again"...but, will I?? Who knows? That is obviously still to be determined since little bit still isn't sleeping all night...this too shall pass???

Time to get ready for the BBQ...gotta find an outfit to hide the big butt, looks cute and I won't burn up in...the daily dilemmas...until later...cheers!

Friday, September 25, 2009

Sally Foster is a Bitch!!!

You know she is. Just say it. Bless her heart.
We LOVE her but everyone in town knows Sally Foster is a bitch!!!

The fundraising. The Sally Foster fundraising for my children's schools.

Okay, okay. It's not even the fundraising that's difficult. It's beautiful paper to benefit our wonderful public schools, where my children attend. The difficulty is getting 3 children out the door, looking neat & clean, having studied and completed homework the night-before, having fed them breakfast, fed the dog and now the fish, and on this particular morning doing all of this without the help of Buford T. --who is happily playing golf in SC. I'm not even bitter about Buford T's whereabouts-- honey, I worked that out a looooong time ago!

This morning was deadline for oldest daughter's fundraising packet. "Mama, just write the check. I've only sold 11 items." Dam-nation, I think. Surely we've sold more than that--but we haven't and I know it. Ugh. "Ok, ok, whatever." Originally, I told my daughters not to expect their father and me to write a check for the fundraising--they could make the effort to sell this stuff. Except now, I'm re-considering. As I evaluate my next move--I'm getting everyone loaded in the car (including my mother who is in town for a weekend-visit). I'm thinking:

Okay. 7 items sucks, I think. That won't even get her a pen-light. It's MY fault. I never even registered her on-line. But is that MY responsibility for a 4th grader? She's just like her Daddy, she's not going to be aggressive in her sales of this fabulous wrapping paper. It's just not important to her but the PARTY is important. So. Do I hold firm? Not today. Not on this issue.....she's already upset because the skirt she wanted to wear this am wasn't ironed and cleaned. My fault. And, we go to public school, I think. We don't pay tuition so what's the big deal with writing a check and just making a donation. I don't want to punish her for my lack of organization. Her friends are important to her. Being included is important to her. I don't want her to feel left-out because I didn't do my part in helping her reach the goal. So I write the check.
And, HAND MY MOTHER A MINT--she has been incessantly coughing since we got in the car. I can barely think because of her coughing. Good grief. "I didn't take my medicine," she says. Hmmm. Our parents are not old. We seem to be entering a new phase, however, where our parents are having 'health issues.' "Are you disgusted with my coughing?" she asks. I must look impatient. "No, Mom. Is it the COPD?" I ask, as patiently as I can. "Yes," she kinda heaves, "don't smoke." Hell--I'd smoke like a steam-engine if it didn't make me feel so bad, I think.
"Yea Mom, I know." She now pulls out her more coughing.

"By the way honey," I say to my oldest, glancing back at her, almost to her school. "If I'm so mean.....I wouldn't be writing this check. But I love you very much. And I'm feeling like I didn't adequately help you achieve the goal for selling wrapping paper, so I'm making a donation." Silence. She told me earler in the morning I was mean--because I disagreed with her about which skirt to wear.

My frustration isn't about the wrapping paper. In fact, I LOVE the stuff--wrap me up and bury me in all those glitzy supplies! Rather, I envision my children's drawers neat and tidy--but they're not. I envision the fundraising packet at the table on the back door, ready for delivery to school, and it wasn't. I see in my mind the home I desire (all the papers from school and artwork neatly filed away) and I even know the calm voices I want to project in the morning. I will do better. I will make a concerted effort not to procrastinate and put-off the small things. I must.

Wait. And give up blogging with you hussies???!!! Doubtful......

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Tribute to FSHS Class of '89

since graduating from High School......

I've been holding on to these prom photos, just knowing there would be a perfect opportunity to share we are at our Jr. Prom, 1988 and Sr. Prom, 1989. There are notables among us. Mrs. Barfield, who commented on this blog's previous post, was 1989 FSHS Prom Queen.
She is wearing her crown in the photo. BTW, the roses were Stephanie's idea!!

I would be remiss if I didn't point out what a FAB back-drop we provided as Juniors for the 1988 prom. I vividly remember spray painting the silver stars and painstakingly glittering each of them. I remember us getting the ladder and being very precise about placement of the stars so they would hang varying lengths and 'frame' the couple in the photo.
Ahhhhhhhhhh. The perfect Prom back-drop.......

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

"Why me, Lord???"

CAUTION: Tired MommyDiva makes for a rambling post that may not make much at your own risk!!

I don't even know where to begin with this post...the past 48 hours are nothing but an absolute blur...starting with a wonderful "why me, Lord" moment late Sunday night early Monday morning. Anna Grace was up all, and I mean all, night I am walking the floor...we are bouncing, we are rocking, I am humming, I am praying, I am name it, I said it (or at least thought it). I'm thinking... this baby girl is 8 1/2 months old...why in the hell isn't she sleeping all night, what in the world have I done to deserve 8 1/2 months of interrupted sleep? Yep, started given God a lecture...telling Him...I try to live a good life, and this is the thanks I get?...a baby that wakes up every night, multiple times...I can count on 1 hand the number of nights she has slept all night...why am I receiving this "punishment" of sleepless nights?? Then, at 4:30 I decided to just lay in the guest bed and let her crawl all over me...but then it was like a guardian angel was Scott...he must have heard my constant up & down and realized that I needed some, he graciously took the baby girl so I could sleep until 6:15...amazing what an hour & 45 minutes of sleep will do for you!

Actually, it's just enough sleep to function...not necessarily deal with the ongoing corporate BS I walked in on Monday morning! The office...sometimes I just have to say "whatever" when I think about that need for details...just know that in a world where women are climbing the corporate ladder there are individuals...mainly men...that cannot stomach the idea of a female being in a position with more influence than them...much less receive instruction from one (i.e., me)!! And, if they think walking around the office all puffed up like a big ol' bull frog is going to change my, or anyone elses, opinion of them...then, come on now...they are a dumbass!

So...Monday afternoon rolls around...Anna Grace goes to the doctor...she has a sinus infection and a double ear infection. Now, who feels like the ass for getting so frustrated & being impatient with the little one when not sleeping the night before?? That would be me...BUT, with this new diagnosed illness do we really think it is a good time to try to get her to start crying herself to sleep at night...well, my wonderful husband that just rescued me earlier that morning thought this was perfect timing. Seriously, are you kidding me? At 11:30 at night, after the Tylenol has worn off, we are going to start this process of making her cry for "x" amount of minutes to see if she will get herself back to sleep...please, tell me you are joking...please tell me that while I slipped away to use the bathroom you didn't just implement this theory??? You got it...he did...granted, she did go back to sleep after 10 minutes which isn't that long (book says wait 15 minutes before going back in the room) was more of the my mind, starting this process should be done with a healthy child...not one that has a sinus infection and a double ear infection...but, who am I...just her mother?!?

Little sleep last night...same corporate BS today...but, you know everything came full circle while sitting at the doctor's office...I was called in to talk with the doc had been called away b/c a patient had lost her baby at 18 weeks, had to deliver, then had complications after the about an absolutely sobering about wanting to take back all of the shit things I said, and thought, while dealing with the past 48 hours of Anna Grace being reality check...I am so thankful to have these precious children to take care, grumpy I may be, frustrated a bit, but thankful I will always be!

Until later...cheers my friends!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

A-team Van & Game Day in the Grove

Isn't it fun getting a night-out!!! Beware of the danger to over-indulge, I'm familiar with this scenario. So exciting to be with friends and adults, to NOT be barking orders, to be relaxed and remember the woman we were before kiddies.

I love that feeling when you're anticipating a night-out...

Getting dressed, looking forward to being with hubby and friends. I vividly remember getting ready with college friends --the Vixens- for a night-out. Much has changed in my life but the woman inside is still the same. She needs to be fed with friendships and fun. She needs to stop and remember what really makes her laugh--what makes her heart go pitter-pat....and what sets her on fire.

Went out with hubby & friends last night.......and took a new car service in town (highly recommend!) Have a choice of presidential limo, pimp mobile and the A-team van.
This was a no-brainer, we chose the van...

"I'm not sure I ever saw an entire episode of the A-team." I innocently declared to hubby and our friends. "I remember my father loving the show but...."
"What?" My husband interrupted, his face contorted like he was in pain....... "Are you shit!ing me??" I wasn't offended. He and I talk like we're friends......well, we are friends. "While all y'alls favorites were Love Boat and Dallas and whatever else...." Big swig of beer--for effect-- he continues, "Mine was the A-team." Others said A-team was their favorite. One girlfriend concurred with John, and said she and her brother would tune in. Then we talked about Simon & Simon. And somebody said Gerald McRaney could be a real a$$--they'd met him on the coast, and then we referenced Delta Burke, who starred in Designing Women with Franklin, Kentucky's, own Annie Potts!!!

We remembered another show we loved......I've never heard of a person that didn't love this show. And when I watched this video--well, my heart went pitter-pat....!!!

GAME DAY at our house. This means hubby has a one-track mind. Run an errand for me? Depends. If the errand, or success of the errand, is tangentially related to the football game then no prob. Otherwise, hubby--will NOT be going out of his way.....whatever else there is, can wait!! One-track. Focus. I said focus. in--zone in hussies......Are you ready?? Are you ready for football season?

Hubby's one-track mind....all things fall to Mama.....blah blah blah..... And like hunting, golf, or fishing your man, like my man, is bound to submerge himself over the next 4 months. You and your family's emotional well-being are in the hands of 100 20 year-old males. This seems reasonable.

So we have the testosterone-driven football obsessions but leave it to the women of Mississippi to make tail-gating something special. An event. The biggest and best dispaly of Southern hospitality you will find. In fact, Mississippians will agree there have been too many years recently where football was the sideshow--tailgating in The Grove took precedence over the football. Picture this. An ocean of red, white & blue tents. Tents with Ole Miss banners. Tents with the "name" of your tailgating group. The Grove has gone from being a wooded green-spot in the middle of the University of Mississippi campus to a full-blown part of the vernacular-Who do you Grove with? Where do y'all Grove.

When you visit you'll admire the beautifully decorated tables. Topped first with a white tablecloth , or the more informal burlap we use in our tent--which falls to the ground (please hide your cooler underneath, it just ain't fittin to have all that showin')-- and then the red, white & blue toppers. Get out your Hotty Toddy styrofoam cups for the drinks and your blue and red napkins. Don't forget your mum--no table is complete without a centerpiece--paaaa-leez.

It doesn't stop there. I could handle that. Oh no, there's more. Homemade goodies. Yep. Finger foods. Tenderloin and biscuits (you're allowed to use Sister Schubert's). Dips. Crescent rolls stuffed with all manner of goodness, and of course homemade desserts. This is more than one bitch can take. AND, don't forget Mississippi is a land of beauty queens........that's another post.

Enjoy a few photos from our day......and a recipe for lemon squares (from friend Liza M).
Hotty Toddy!!!

Lemon Bars Deluxe:
2 c flour
1/2 c powdered sugar
1 c butter, softened
4 eggs, beaten
2 c sugar
1/2 c lemon juice(can substitute w/lime, I did!)
1/4 c flour
1/2 t banking powder
stir flour and powdered sugar together. cut in butter. press dough into greased 9x13.
Bake 350 for 25-30 min.
combine eggs, sugar, and lemon juice. stir flour and baking powder into egg mixture. pour over baked crust. bake 350 for 25-30 minutes. cool. sprinkle with powdered sugar. cut into bars.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

My Perfect I thought!!

OK...while fumbling around on YouTube I found something that made me laugh my tail off...and, honestly, made me a little envious that I didn't think of this over 10 years ago when planning my "dream wedding"! Don't get me wrong...when Scott & I got engaged in November 1998 I had the or wedding...and, are you was never an option in my mind...I had to have my "dream wedding". So, after 13 months of planning, 8 bridesmaids/groomsmen, all black attire, fresh flowers & greenery (I couldn't imagine having fake flowers at my wedding!!), the handbells, the soloist, limos, dinner, handmade Christmas ornaments as favors, live band, etc...I felt like I had planned and participated in the most perfect Christmas wedding...of course, it was my wedding...there was nothing out there any better...nothing could have made the evening any better...UNTIL I came across these 2 videos. And, my friends...I think these are absolutely fabulous...and, these videos probably provide some insight to all of you reading this as to what "Sam" of these 2 "MommyDivas" is all about...


Until later...cheers!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Cruella DeVille goes to the dentist...

The last couple of days I've been short with my husband. Hmmmm. Bitchy even?? My thoughts have gone something like this.......

Late meeting at church last night, as in 9:00 pm--ugh! Maybe too much church these days? Home to my loving family. "Did they shower," I ask hubby, with a hint of bitchiness (knowing that they ain't showered and just hoping they at least brushed their teeth). "Nah"--I cut my eyes to him--and make an' of course they didn't' face. "I mean they don't have to bathe every night," he says indignantly. Whatever, I think. Let it go. Just too tired. "What about their folders and homework--ya'll go over that?" I give him a chance at redemption. "Oh yea, yea....we studied." My darling husband lumbers back to bed.

Next morning--wild as hell, which is typical. I'm taking our 3 kids to school this am. "Mama you have to sign this if I'm gonna get pictures. School pictures is TO-day Mama," my middle child reminds me. They're dressed and ready, we picked an outfit, even managed to straigtening-iron the hair, and we're set for school pictures, and as we're racing out the door I have to drop everything (not the coffee, please not the coffee, by God I'm taking my coffee with me)....drop everything on granite counter to SIGN and FILL OUT the school pictures form. I can't do it in carpool line--too much, no pen....gotta do it here....."Mama we gotta go" my oldest child yells. "Hold on," I say, scanning form. Retouched--that's kinda cheezy--we always have leftover photos--which package--which f-ing package. Hubby walks in kitchen, "What are you doing honey" he says sweetly taking a big full sip of his coffee, "ya'll are gonna be late, you gotta" Before he could finish I look up from form and with my very bitchiest, mommydearest voice I say, "You didn't do the school pictures form last night?" "Get me the checkbook," I bark at him. Him who has made the school lunches, him who is the absolute love of my life, him who is a really, really good husband and Daddy. "The checkbook," I snarl. He hands me the checkbook. I'm writing furiously--you know for effect. Thinking-- I have to do everything--Mama has to do it, or it doesn't get done. Do I have to tell everyone what to do all the time......John is hurt. Borderline pissed. We exchange looks--BTW his looks are waaaay better than anything I can come up with. But I throw him one back--this isn't MY fault---we get in car--"Ok, you have the note honey, " I ask my oldest-she is going home with a friend. See I made sure she has a's endless. And I'm frustrated because mornings are madness. Endless the things I do, everyday, many times a day with noone telling me what to do. I'm mad as hell (maybe at myself). The kids are aware. I slam my seatbelt--turn on the car--and fishtail outta my driveway like Cruella DeVille........
Carpool complete. Kids delivered. Calmed down. Necessary coffee now cold. As I drive up to my house, I'm hoping I will see John's car. Nope. He's gone. I'll have to apologize later.

Had a dentist appointment this am. My dentist is my brother-in-law--who I really adore. He removed a wisdom tooth that had a cavity. Jason told me since the wisdom tooth was "really small" I could just go ahead and remove it. The only thing I have to compare "really small" with is my children's teeth, so I envisioned a baby tooth......I was shocked to see my "small" wisdom tooth......that's not small at all!!! Now that I think about it--of course my children's baby teeth wouldn't be adequate for an adult. At the time I formed the opinion--and envisioned the baby tooth--I'd never seen an adult tooth. Jason, as a professional and a dentist, had a totally different perspective than I. This experience has really illuminated my thinking---about perspective. All of us do this each day.....we form opinions, thoughts and judgments about how a procedure will go--or how an experience will go---from our own perspective, which is not necessarily the most astute perspective........hmmmmm. Did I just say I'm dumb??

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Are you kidding??

We have this absolutely fabulous concept...yet, my sister is sitting on her tail at her husband's law office pretending to be doing some legal work...while little sis here is waiting on her logo, info and revisions...come on with me! LOL! But, in all honesty, she probably is doing some legal work right now...just not for guess is she is preparing some sort of lawsuit to throw at the first person who attempts to steal the "MommyDiva", that sounds more like my sister!!

Meanwhile...she has not found the logo she & a friend created about 2 years ago...nor has she sent me her list of her revisions for the blog. HOWEVER, she has figured out how to do a bit of editing of her own...and, I can promise you one thing...if she keeps messing with the stuff I have done, ALL ADMINISTRATIVE RIGHTS WILL BE REVOKED!!! And, I'm not kidding...I have that power! :0)

Love ya the that I have access from the office (which was a surprise)...lunch is over, back to the J-O-B that is helping pay the bills. Until later...cheers my friends!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Can we say CRAZY day?!?

This morning should have been a clear indication as to how my day was going to 6:15 a.m. I had my darling 8-month old daughter on my hip, my toothbrush hanging out of my mouth, was attempting to change out the laundry, listening to my precious 5 year old little boy ask if we can play a game...all the while trying to get out of the house and downtown by 7:30 a.m. Which...I did make it...but, seriously...does anyone ever sit back and wonder how in the world so much stuff gets packed into such a little amount of time?

OMG...I felt like my work day full of meetings was somewhat of a "break" today...when I left work this afternoon I was hauling tail back up I-65 to get my clothes changed, pick up the kids, take JP to soccer practice, then change JP in the back of the vehicle into his baseball uniform for his game, which started 15 minutes after soccer practice...fortunately, my husband was able to rescue me at the game so I could stop and breath for a moment! (* hubby does have good timing on rescuing, a big thank you to him!)

I say all of this...I say it was a crazy day...when in all reality, it was a normal day at our, I guess it's more like...can we just simply say crazy???


There is a familiar story in my family about a statement I made as a toddler. Sadly, it resonates with me today. At 2, (I'm guessing 2 1/2) I witnessed a technological event unbelievable to me. Maybe it was the changing of channels on the the big Zenith, or maybe it was the ring of a rotary telephone. Mom and Dad might remember. Whatever I observed was amazing to me, and I blurted out "How-dat-do-dat?"
I find myself these days in a perpetual state of "how-dat-do-dat?"

Yesterday evening I had another moment. My little sister Sam got our new blog on the airways! The name was a no-brainer, we wanted to use MommyDiva. We included Interchange in the title to denote a place of exchange--a place where mothers can give and take. I was slightly in awe that the blog was up and on the screen. Our platform in cyberspace had been assembled in less than 10 minutes--the content would be the challenge but I kept staring at the screen......right there before me--MommyDiva Interchange. Huh I thought. Pretty cool.

We stayed on the telephone discussing content, words, phrasing and I kept 'refreshing' to view the updates as Sam revised the blog. I was focused on the introductory sentences and some favorite memories when my eyes wandered down to the left of the page--holy shi! we have a follower. OMG. I can't believe it--someone found us? How? Thousands and thousands of people. My thoughts and mind raced. Unbelievable, I thought. There we are, participants in the wide open blogsphere. Huh. As a participant I was trying to work it out--the computer programs we studied in Ms. Birdwhsitle's class have come alooong way! How do they? Where does the information...How'd...."How-dat-do-dat?"
I dunno, but we hope you'll come along and share the ride!!!

I've been writing and talking and rehearsing in my mind many, many important meaningful subjects and topics for many, many months. Writing on motherhood, marriage, career, loss of career, re-entering career, friendships, family relationships and Faith. Occasionally, as I write furiously trying to record my thoughts my husband will catch me, "Are you doing that 'beautiful mind' shit again?" Yep. Guilty. I don't write on the walls of our home--yet-- but he glances at piles of paper where I've scribbled the meaningful scenes of my life, and I know I'm failing myself, and maybe him, with my inaction. The issue for me, and I think for him, isn't is there merit in what I'm writing. Rather, if what I've written just stays in a pile--and if I continue to write 'beautiful mind' style--what a HUGE waste of time.

So my little sister has given me an outlet. Yesterday she set up this blog and she and I composed our first post. That was fun! This exercise--solo--is harder.

It's so much easier. The 'beautiful mind' way. I'm thinking, right now, I can't do this post. The finished product--this first post--isn't going to be what I envisioned. I want a Southern Living post--pretty, neat and tidy. And this feels like Do-It-Yourself-Home-Depot second-rate-post. I can't possibly convey all I want in one post!!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Our First Toast...

2 sisters, 2 cities, 2 points of view...both mothers, both married, both embracing life...and each thinking the other is a true Mommy Diva!

Our 1st WARNING: Our loving, devoted, divorced parents...should READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

Let the therapy begin...this is motherhood unplugged!

Cheers -
Muffin & Sam